It's all over. Training is finished. Exams are finished. It's taken me a few days to recover enough to be able to write this up, thank you for your patience.
Stage One Day Eight - Teaching Exam Day and Results...Friday, 8th September 2006
Teaching exam, I got number 7 of 8 - Prepare your parallel turning students for steeper terrain. To be honest I didn't really care which of the teaching assigments I got. Anyway, I was fairly confident that it went well, I had all 3 of my so called students ready to carve it up down the Hurdle (a steepish black run at Coronet).
Result time
Once again they had us agonisingly waiting around until the evening before they gave out the results. So evil, no need for it.
Darn and blast it! I failed. Quite gutted. Not that I was expecting to pass everything anyway, but still feeling quite gutted. Out of 23 skiers who passed their CSI, 4 didn't take their Stage One exams and 6 failed, so at least I'm not alone in my misery! The stats were pretty similar for the boarders, with roughly 1/3 failing.
Tradition states that everyone who passes their Stage One has to jump into lake Wakatipu, naked. The good news is I didn't have to do that! Not that that stopped some of the failures from jumping in anyway. Silly young kids.
Congratulations to everyone that did pass, I can't be bothered to name you all, commiserations to those that didn't pass and good luck to those gluttons doing their resits!
Finally good luck to all the guys and girls going to work at Okemo and at other resorts, have a great season. Don't upset too many small children and definately try not to lose any. If I'm passing through on my may home I'll stop off for a lesson or two.
Stage One Day Seven - Real Exam DayThursday, 7th September 2006
Today is the real crunch time. This is when all of our demos and our high-end skiing are assessed. We get two runs at each, although the examiners have been a bit cagey about whether they take the best score or an average of each run or what.
I didn't find it all as stressful as I thought it would be, even with our every move being watched by 3 examiners simultaneously!
Parallel demo - I think possibly passable.
Wedge Christie demo - I think possibly passable.
Wedge demo - I think possibly passable.
Short turns - hmmm, I think probably not passable, even if Jen thinks they were the best short turns she's seen me do.
Free ski - off-piste conditions weren't appropriate so we had to do it on piste instead, which was good news for me personally, at least that gave me a chance of being able to pass it, really not sure if I did though.
Movement analysis -
Just one more exam to go, teaching. Not looking forward to that.
"Well done guys, I just want to say thank you for your effort that last three days. You all have a chance of passing Stage One.", said the examiner. I think that means our general skiing has all been assessed as a pass! Woohoo. First hurdle hurdled.
Indoor session today. Great fun walking around a 20 foot square room pretending to be skiing and riding lifts. Obviously kinda limited as to what we could do today so we had to go through a big chunk of the teaching progression.
I really hope the mountain re-opens and we don't have to do our teaching segment indoors. So painful.
Good news was that we managed to incorporate tonights evening session into the day.
This is it. This is what it was all about. NZSIA Stage One. 8 days.
The first three days we have one examiner. The second three days we have a different examiner. They will together give us a mark for our general skiing ability. The last two days are the demo and teaching exams.
Today we found out our groups and our first examiner. I don't think the group selection worked out too well for me. We seem to have some really strong skiers in our group, makes my skiing look distinctly average to poor!
This is the day we say goodbye to trainer Jim. I think I can speak on behalf of the rest of Team Jim (apparently also known as Jim's Jockstraps) and say thank-you, it's been an awesome 7 weeks, you easily earned the heli-ski trip. We've all learnt an incredible amount from you, I think even we can now see how much our Fernando skiing has transformed into real skiing!
If we don't pass Stage One we want our heli-ski money back.
Injury List
name:Tomailment:Not a broken neck - just strainedcause:Building a ramp in front of a cliff, launching off of it and using an inappropriate body part to land with
Two days to go until the Stage One exams start and Tom decides to ski over small cliffs. Deliberately. Thats all perfectly sane. It was the decision to build a ramp in front of the cliff edge, for just that little bit extra air that wasn't sane.
Injury List
name:Tomailment:Suspected broken neckcause:Building a ramp in front of a cliff, and launching off of it
Finally the weather looked like paragliding weather, so Laura and I decided to go for it.
Apart from the hike up above the top chair lift, above the back bowls and right up to the ridge, it was just incredibly relaxing and peaceful. Oh, and apart from running off the edge of the ridge. And the spirals we pulled on the way down. They weren't relaxing, just fun.
Just three weeks to go. But only one free weekend for the skiers. The skiing Stage One exam is 8 straight days and runs over the weekend. Thats going to mean 12 days skiing back to back. Not looking forward to that - I barely survive 5 days! As usual the borders have it easy, their Stage One is only 5 days.
The free weekend (next weekend) is when we're planning the heli-ski trip. Probably a daft thing to do in our only rest before the exams but its the only chance we have! It's going to be incredible.
WORLD FAMOUS IN NEW ZEALAND. There's nothing like L&P, a little Kiwi classic with loads of fresh taste. She's a legend our Lemon and Paeroa...and Kiwi as. There's heaps of stories to tell about this favourite fruity drop...but the important stuff is where it all started. Take a trip to sunny Paeroa, back in the good old days, where some local blokes found an awesome underground spring. Yup, right under their noses loads of super-fresh water. Fact is, water's water but it ain't L&P. It wasn't until some bright spark had the idea of putting something in it, L&P came to life. C-h-o-i-c-e! With a little bit of lemon and a sprinkling of magic (our secret formula), the little Kiwi beauty we know and love was born. And L&P today? It's still the original flavour, but now it's even better!
Freestyle day! The day started with our freestyle coach, Luismi, throwing himself head first down a 15 foot gulley and somehow skiing out of it in the opposite direction. Obviously we all had to have a go. Obviously we all failed and just slid/tumbled in various orientations until we hit the bottom on everything other than our skis. Then we went on to more traditional freestyle tricks in the park - switch skiing, whirlibirds, jumps, a few 180s (and some 150s, a couple of 90s and a possible 270), boxes. Monkey.
We were having so much fun we barely noticed the blizzard that blew in. The wimpy boarders decided to call it a day whilst the hardcore skiers continued hitting the rails. It turned out to be a mistake. We were stranded. The weather had drawn in so much so quickly that the only road off the mountain was closed, leaving us trapped. I think we all stood up to the challenge quite well. I'm not afraid to admit that it did get tough at times - we didn't have any playing cards, and the shove ha'penny was beginning to fray the tempers. The supplies situation started to become a bit of a concern, the canteen staff refused to re-open the tills and sell any food and put a padlock on the beer fridge, but apparently they do keep sleeping bags up there so the threat of the cold was minimized. It was starting to look bleak, but it did give us a chance to reflect on the lessons we learnt on the avalanche awareness course. Fortunately we weren't stuck overnight and the road did finally re-open, an hour later, and the buses started running again. We soon discovered the reason for the road being closed - a coach off the road in the ditch! Glad we weren't on that one, and glad the driver managed to slide off the inside of the road and not straight down the mountain. Thankfully no casualties.
The drama of nearly being stranded on the mountain didn't seem to dishearten Matt on his birthday. After barely managing to stagger from the hotel bar to the hotel shuttle bus he somehow managed to stand upright long enough to fool the bouncers into letting him into the bar. And then fell asleep on the stairs. After leaving (or maybe being removed from) the bar and magicking himself back to the hotel, he fell asleep in the corridor. After finding and entering his room, he fell asleep in the bathroom. He doesn't really remember, but he thinks he had fun. Its the thought that counts.
Today was the practical element of the avalanche awareness course. For some reason the guide, who yesterday fully informed us of the extreme danger that avalanches represent, repeatedly took us into prime avalanche territory. Excellent skiing though.
To many people's disappointment (mine at least) we didn't witness any avalanches. And we weren't allowed to fire the Avalaunchers (basically small bazookas used to manually trigger a somewhat not entirely controlled avalanche - not entirely controlled because a few years ago an avalauncher, fired by the chief guy of the avalanche team, created an avalanche that wiped out the main base building at the Remarkables). I think Matt was pleased his dream didn't come true.
The weekends backcountry trip has been cancelled. Boo. Rumours were that it involved a 15 mile hike, in ski boots, carrying skis, so I can't say I'm overly upset. The reason for the trip being cancelled is that the hotel is beginning to look more like a field hospital than a hotel.
Special Notice
Our first duck has been shot in this duck shoot of a ski/snowboard course. Andrea has left the building. I'm removing Andrea's broken coccyx from the injury list from this point on. Safe trip home Andy.
Don't Get Caught in an AvalancheWednesday, 16th August 2006
Wow, awesome day, something really clicked today. Lots more off-piste but no crashes! If I can keep up this rate of improvement Stage One will be a piece o' pee.
Avalanche awareness course started this evening back at the hotel. All I seem to remember is that if you get caught in an avalanche and you don't get rescued within 20 mins you've got a 27% chance of survival, but if you're rescued within 5 minutes of being buried you've got a 95% chance of survival! They didn't tell us what your chances of being found within 5 minutes are though. My guess is pretty slim. I think the general advice was, just don't get yourself in an avalanche because you most likely won't survive. And never write a book about how to survive an avalanche, it seems to be somewhat of a jinx.
Snow Report: Excellent, more snow overnight which the weekend wonders haven't been able to touch, it being mid-week and all
CSI Bye Bye, Stage One Come OnMonday, 14th August 2006
Ok, so CSI is complete, no time to rest on our laurels, it's straight in to Stage One.
Supposedly the emphasis is more strongly on our own free ski - we have to ski dynamically with speed and control on and off piste. Sounds easy put like that.
Having three impressive crashes off-piste (fortunately all deep snow and comical, including leaving skis behind sticking up out of the snow) was not the confidence booster I needed after only just passing my CSI free ski! I did pull my left hip a bit, I'm sure it'll be ok.
Snow Report: Tricky, reasonable dump at the weekend but cut up by the weekend warriers
Injury List
name:Meailment:Dodgy left hip/butt musclecause:Tumbling and getting tail of ski stuck in snow and wrenched off my foot
name:Scottailment:Pneumoniacause:Knowing Scott I don't think I want to know
name:Meailment:Crook neckcause:Car crash 5 years ago
name:Alexailment:Slashed wrist, 10 stitches - now healedcause:His own ski
name:Melailment:Black eye - healedcause:Falling on her face
name:Andreaailment:Broken coccyxcause:Falling on her arse again
CSI Day Four - The Final DayFriday, 11th August 2006
The boarders got their results after they all finished. All but two passed. Pretty good.
6 hours later...
...at a hotel not entirely near us...
...we got our results...
Woohoo! I'm a qualified ski instructor! All of our group passed, which is excellent and a relief.
Not massively pleased with my scores, but thats not what matters. All that matters is that I passed.
Bring on Stage One. No rest for the wicked. Well, actually, there is. Going to do absolutely nothing this weekend.
A twist to the end of the night, that I wasn't aware of at the time. Scott (with acting nurse Claire) spent two hours in hospital and was diagnosed with pneumonia. Claire was deeply upset at the lose of 2 hours worth of drinking time.
Q. How many Ski Instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
Eventful bus ride up the hill today, didn't think we were going to make it for a while. I didn't mention how hairy the dirt track of a road up to the Remarkables ski field is did I. Very steep, very tight, very dirt track like with minimal safety barriers on the corners. Anyway, the driver stalled the bus right on the exit to a hairpin bend most of the way up the mountain, and then proceeded to stall another 6 or 7 times, slipping back two or three feet each time, closer and closer to the edge of the bend (this one of the many with no safety barriers), closer and closer to a coach with 32 potential ski instructors and one numpty driver plummeting backwards off a cliff. Just as we were beginning to get concerned that we'd have to get out of our nice comfy warm seats and push (ok, maybe not, it was pretty damn steep), the driver decided to eat humble pie and radio for help. I was thinking maybe he'd call for another coach, maybe one with a little more power that was built after the 1960's that could make it up the hill, or maybe for one of the tractors they use to grit the road to tow us up. Nope, he justed needed a little advice on where 1st gear was.
Once up the hill we had a brief intro to the differences in teaching children - just make a complete tit out of yourself and it'll probably be alright. Oh, and take their poles away, they'll only use them as weapons.
Demos in the afternoon, the ones that count. Think it went ok, didn't feel like my best wedge turns ever, but not bad. No feedback unfortunately, apart from "Pretty good Gary, do one more lap".
I hope they get my name right on the form.
One day to go, and the scariest bit, the teaching assessment.
Q. What's the difference between a Ski Instructor and God?
Arrggghhhhhh! Ski damage! Massive set of scratches from the tip all the way down to the binding. Fortunately it's in the middle and didn't ruin the edge. That'll teach me to jump rocks I suppose. Oh well.
I was a contender for dotd today. Skiing down the nursery slope, boots undone, caught an edge, ploughed straight into Tom, or more accurately the end of Tom's poles and then Tom. Luckily he wasn't holding his poles tightly. I'm sure that really impressed the examiner.
Unfortunately the dotd hat has gone AWOL. We suspect Pringle has hidden it because the pink suits him.
Crap jokes to relieve the tension.
Q. What's the difference between a fly and a bird?
Two muffins in the oven. Cook turns the oven on. One muffin screams, "Oh my god, they're baking us alive!". The other muffin replies, "Oh my god, a talking muffin!".
Now, we're not supposed to tell anyone this, but our examiner has already let on that he's comfortable with our free ski. Which I think means we should all be at a passing level. Thats some of the pressure off; we can focus on our demos and teaching now.
All good so far.
Snow Report: The snow at the Remarkables is way better than at Concrete, real snow instead of fake stuff, bloody freezing though
Today was our last day before the first round of assessments starts. Tonight we had the kick-off meeting. The nerves are starting.
The CSI (Certificate in Ski Instruction) is assessed on four separate areas. Free ski, demo, teaching and a written paper.
The free ski section is an assessment of our own skiing ability and style.
The demo section is of the highest level the CSI lets us teach to, advanced wedge turns.
The teaching section is 30 minutes of teaching to 4 or 5 pupils (other members of our group) at any level between people who have never seen snow before up to improving the technique of people who already have a decent wedge turn with good turn shape, all for either kids or adults.
The best bit is that not only is the written paper open book, they've given us the paper already and we have until Thursday to finish it!
By the end of the day yesterday my old whiplash injury was threatening to lock my neck up, so I decided to rest it. Especially with our first assessments coming up so soon (starting Tuesday), the last thing I need is my neck to sieze up and lay me out for 2 days.
So I bunked, went to the physio instead. They really know their stuff. In fact they are excellent, so much better than any I've ever had back in the UK. And it's free! Even though its an old injury because its been brought on by an incident on while skiing here it's covered by the ACC scheme. They want me to have acupuncture for it as well, I'll have to pay for that but its $15NZ, about $7US! I think I can afford that, even if I'm not sure its going to do anything. I'll give it a crack.
Happy Birthday Josh - Josh Enters Adulthood
Not quite unfortunately, but he's getting closer. Eh, Chaz??
Injury List
name:Meailment:Crook neckcause:Car crash 5 years ago
name:Alexailment:Slashed wrist, 10 stitches - now healedcause:His own ski
name:Melailment:Black eye - healedcause:Falling on her face
name:Andreaailment:Broken coccyxcause:Falling on her arse again
This morning we reviewed some more video footage, including the early stuff and some from the last couple of days. Very enlightening. Looking back at the early video was an eye opener. Very Fernando. Now that we have a better idea of what good skiing is, it's so obvious what Jim was talking about and how rubbish we were and how far we've come on since. Which was a great confidence booster, but there's still a long way to go yet.
Absolute mayhem. Our first go at teaching one of the progressions to the rest of the group. And we had to pretend it was a kids class. Not to naming any names, but certain members of the group fell into their role way too easily. You could even say it was like they never grew up.
Snow Report: Ice rocks.
D.O.T.D.: Matt - Snowballing a random instructor in the face
Today we took out some short skis, about a foot shorter than our normal skis. So cool. So much fun, so easy to spin. The point was that you can't cheat so much on short skis, if you're balance isn't centered correctly along the length of the ski then you've had it. Excellent for jumps as well! And they're easier to carry! Shame the snow conditions were so rubbish, glad our group had them today though, the other two ski groups have them over the next two days, don't think we'll be getting any more snow in that time.
St John's first aid course today. More fun than expected. Apart from having a finger amputated.
I now know how to give a child CPR at a workmate's barbeque, prevent an adult choking at a nursing home and how to treat a drunk at a beach party that has a seizure and rolls in the bonfire.
I have flat feet and a bowed left leg. Ok, so I'm not quite the perfect human form that I thought I was, but not far off. On the advice of our trainer I went to get my alignment checked out. My left leg is bowed outwards by approximately 1 degree, so I've got wedges duck taped to the bottom of my boot to bring it back in line. If I find it helps prevent me catching the inside edge then they can shave the bottom of the boot to that angle. T, one of the boot fitment guys in Browns (very recommended for all things ski and board boot related) said it's probably not worth it for such a shallow angle but they'll do it if I want. Have to see how I get on over the next few days. I was actually hoping they'd tell me that my alignment was terrible and thats why I been skiing like shite. Apparently it's pretty much just because I am shite. Oh well, you learn something every day.
What has made a massive difference is the extra padding they've put in the boots, wow, they're so comfortable! And now that they've also shown me how to do them up properly after all these years, I may be able to ski a little better!
We also did the Shotover Jet today. Pretty cool. I want a jet boat.
Paul (roommate Paul) has started compiling a list of my more "unusual" behaviours.
Charlotte seems to think, that I have OCD because, and this will make my family laugh, I'm too tidy. And because I fold my pants.
I have no idea what's on the list and I won't find out until the end of the course. Not that I have anything to worry about, I don't do anything that's wierd.
Wow. Absolutely awesome day. More off piste action. Including a couple of runs blasting through completely virgin powder. Difficult describing how great that feels.
The trick to powder is just to ski the same as skiing on piste, only you have to be a lot more dynamic, and maybe keep a little more weight on the inside ski than usual, maybe 60/40 on the outside. More movement. And don't move your weight backwards to keep the tips up, it's a lie. The tips don't necessarily have to be breaking the surface. The skis both need to be pressured along the full length to help prevent you sinking too far. And try not to slow down, keep some momentum, or you will get stuck, and thats not what we want.
And avoid skiing straight into 5 foot high drifts of powder. It takes ages digging yourself out.
My incredible sunglasses/goggles/multi-function all action eyewear/wireless 3D video specs/x-ray/HUD device failed me today. Apparently they aren't man enough to stand up to a blizzard. Disappointing. Had to get the googles out so I could see further than the end of my skis.
Snow Report: Blizzard
D.O.T.D.: Matt - Crashing, losing a ski and taking half an hour to dig it out, while the rest of his group are enjoying a hot chocolate in the brasserie completely oblivious to their missing member.
Good skiing is about blending the movement planes involved. Fore/aft, lateral, vertical and rotational.
We had our first video analysis session today. Interesting. Didn't look too bad to us. Apparently it's shocking. We're all so obviously lazy Euro skiers, according to trainer Jim.
D.O.T.D.: Mel - Face planting exiting the Keyhole and giving herself a black eye
Injury List
name:Melailment:Black eyecause:Falling on her face
name:Andreaailment:Broken coccyxcause:Falling on her arse
Its really quite different to any European resort, its tiny, we skied pretty much everything today at a pretty casual pace. Very varied terrain though. None of the niceties of modern French or Austrian resorts. The snow is different, harder and more abrasive. My poor brand new skis! Already I've got 4 or 5 scratches down the bases.
I think we got really lucky with out group and instructor. Robyn, Jen, Josh, Campbell, Mark, Will, Matt and myself. And instructor Jim. Apparently Jim is quite good. He used to be on the US demo team. That means he was one of the best 15 instructors from the 30000 or so in the US. I think we can learn a thing or two from him.
After the morngin cruising the hill and he decided we all need to go right back to basics, relearning basic stance and movement, everything. But backwards. Apparently it will help us go forwards better.
Injury List
name:Andreaailment:Broken coccyxcause:Falling on her arse
Proper induction meeting today. Starting to bring it home, why I'm really here that is, pretty scary. Here in New Zealand, not here on Earth - lets not get carried away. Found out something I wasn't aware of, we have some preliminary exams, the CSI (Certificate in Ski Instruction) in just 3 weeks. It's a four day exam! And thats the easy one. The Stage One exam is 8 days. We also got our bible, the NZSIA Alpine Instructors Manual, all 300 pages of it. Of which, only approximately 270 pages are relevant to the two qualifications that we're doing.
The good news is that we had a ski/board tuning clinic at one of the shops downtown, Outside sports, and we get a 50% discount on all tuning!
Almost everyone else arrived today. There are 43 of us on the course, 23 skiers and 20 boarders. Still not quite met them all yet, but everyone I have met so far seems really nice. Mostly younguns - a few 18 or so's, a lot of 20ish and a few of us oldies, I think there's one girl at 26, me at 29 and three more 30 or 31. Good mix of boys v girls as well, fairly even split. Mostly English, couple of Scots, one N Ireland one R Ireland, one French guy, one Floridian and another from the US but I'm not sure where. 2 more have yet to arrive.
My roommate is Paul, 31 from somewhere near Bishops Stortford, I think. Doesn't seem to be a lunatic so far. They seem to have put the old gits together.
Some info about the NZSIA Stage One qualification. Apparently the NZSIA Stage One is a equivalent to everyone else's level 2 (BASI, CASI and whatever the US one is called). It's also full professional qualification. If I'm successful I can officially call myself a professional skier!
The hotel is nice, if cold, they don't seem to believe in insulation, or radiators. Or closing external doors.
First flight was good, comfortable, nice food, didn't sleep but didn't want to. Absolute hell getting through LAX. Didn't expect to have to actually enter the US, the "in transit" area was closed so everyone has to go through arrivals, where they held everyone, including US citizens, for ages with no explanation. After submitting my fingerprints I had to dash through to departures because they'd held us all so long. Then I got told off by the old lady prowling the check in desks for being lost and late for my flight, which worked out ok because she got me straight to the front of the queue. Still nearly missed the flight, and there was me thinking I had a couple of hours to get bored! It got worse from there though. Not particularly enamoured with the Qantas flight crew. Anyway, I did manage to get some sleep on that flight so it wasn't so bad. The worst had still to come. Landed at Auckland, all was well. The domestic terminal is a separate building that you have to take a bus ride to. Apart from fighting my way through the bus doors with my skis that was ok. Get into the domestic terminal with about 30 mins until my flight, cutting it pretty fine. Told to go straight to check-in desk 1. Practically run the full length of the check-in desks dragging my skis and everything behind me. Get to the desk, the guy asks me where I'm going, I say "Queenstown", he says "Great, chuck your bags straight on the conveyor and I'll get you checked in". See my bags disappear through the door to the secret mysterious world of airport baggage, get my boarding pass out... and he says "Oh, you're with Qantas, you need the other terminal". Brilliant. So the guy bursts through to the backroom and grabs my bags before they get completely sucked up and brings them back to me. Now I'm in a rush. Have to run out the front of the airport, 5mins down the road to the special Qantas terminal. 10 mins until the flight still. Check-in clerk looks at me with the most disdainful look on her face. "You've missed that one son, next one is 4 hours."
